Smurfnip Madness/Part 5
"So Brainy wasn't happy that you were seemingly interfering with his job of trying to keep the village smurfnip-free, Papa Smurf," Empath said. "No, he wasn't, Empath, even as much as he was trying to smurf up to the example that he sees that I have smurfed up for all my little Smurfs to follow," Papa Smurf said. "Nevertheless, Brainy and Hefty did listen to my order and had Duncan McSmurf free from the prison that they had smurfed him in." "Aye, it will be a sad day in the Smurf Village when every Smurf is treated like a criminal or a suspect, Empath," Tapper said, agreeing with the sentiment. "But what this one wants to know is how Gargamel's plan of tainting the smurfberries in the forest with concentrated smurfnip essence would eventually affect the Smurfs who would unwittingly eat the berries," Polaris said. "That's what I'm smurfing to, Polaris," Papa Smurf said. "Farmer and his group of Smurfs went out into the forest to smurf in a harvest of berries that we were going to smurf that night, when all of a sudden they noticed that the berries were smelling more delicious than they actually were." And as Papa Smurf told his part of the story, Empath and Polaris saw that Farmer and his group of Smurfs were coming close to the patch of smurfberry bushes that Gargamel had sprayed earlier with the smurfnip essence when they stopped and sniffed the air. "Mmmm-mmmm, either I'm hungry or those berries must be smurfing such a scent that I can't seem to smurf myself away from them," one of the Smurfs said. Farmer noticed it as well. "It do seem to be strange that the smurfberries are making my mouth water more than usual just by the smell." "They smurf so delicious, I could eat them right off the bush," another Smurf said as he raced over to the bushes and started picking them. "Just make sure that you be smurfing more for the baskets and carts than you do be smurfing for your stomach there," Farmer warned. And as the Smurfs began to pick the smurfberries from the bushes, Gargamel was watching them with his cat Azrael while hiding themselves, daring not to expose themselves while they are watching their prey. "Look, Azrael, look...those hungry little Smurfs are taking the bait," Gargamel said. "Soon those smurfberries will make every Smurf seem rather loopy as they wonder what's in the berries that's making them feel that way. And when they get loopy, they will get careless and start following after the hallucinations that think are so real, and that will be when the Smurfs will be so easy to catch, they won't even notice that the hallucinations will lead them right to their doom." Gargamel and Azrael both laughed at the thought of the Smurfs becoming loopy. ----- "Meanwhile, I was showing the Smurfs through Handy's new invention what being under the influence of smurfnip looks like in a safe way," Tapper said. And so Empath and Polaris saw there were a crowd of Smurfs gathered around Tapper as he handed one of them a pair of glasses. "So what am I supposed to see when I smurf them on?" the Smurf asked. "There's only one way to find out, my fellow Smurf," Tapper said. "I promise you, that you won't believe how different everything smurfs when you wear them." And so the Smurf put on the glasses, and instantly he reacted with amazement. "Wow, it's like everything is in a bright colorful rainbow haze, but it's also so blurry and sparkly," the Smurf said. "Try walking around while you are wearing them," Tapper suggested. The Smurf tried walking around while wearing the glasses, but because everything in his vision was so distorted, he couldn't see where he was going and ended up bumping into things and into other Smurfs. "You see, my fellow Smurf?" Tapper said when the Smurf took off the glasses and saw everything being back to normal. "That is what things are like when you're smurfing under the influence of smurfnip. It all looks nice, bright, and colorful, but things become so distorted to the point where your vision is affected." "Hey, this is incredible," the Smurf said, looking at the glasses he was holding. "Smurfs, you've got to smurf this a try. You won't believe how powerful these things are." And so one by one the Smurfs took their turns putting on the glasses and being amazed by how much their vision was affected by the distorted rainbow haze they were trying to see through. Papa Smurf found one Smurf walking straight into him while wearing the glasses. "It seems that Handy has become quite ingenious with the creation of an effective smurfing tool, Tapper," Papa Smurf said as he approached Tapper. "Aye, that he is, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "With this Hallucinator, Smurfs will find out just what it's like to be under the influence of smurfnip without having to try the smurfnip firsthand. The only thing it can't reproduce is the euphoric feeling." "You can't always give the Smurfs everything they want, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "This might help a few Smurfs be strong in their resolve to smurf no to smurfnip." "It makes me wish that I never tried smurfnip in the first place, Papa Smurf, because I can't seem to smurf enough of it," Grouchy said with a groan. "I know it's not easy to give up something that may smurf you harm in the long run, Grouchy," Papa Smurf said. "But at the very least you're willing to admit that giving up on smurfnip is not easy. We'd only be fooling ourselves to think that we have the willpower to oversmurf our own problems by ourselves." "We'll be smurfing by you to help overcome being oversmurfed by smurfnip, my fellow Grouchy," Tapper said, smiling. "You're not in this fight alone." Just then, Duncan McSmurf joined Tapper, Grouchy, and Papa Smurf. "Ah, it's so good to be a free Smurf once again," Duncan said while rubbing his wrists. "I wonder what you're smurfing with those two self-appointed guardians of the law, Papa Smurf." "Well, at the very least they won't be smurfing after anyone who's in possession of smurfnip, so that's a relief," Papa Smurf said. "But as far as their job of trying to smurf the peace, I'm thinking that it wouldn't be such a bad idea if they would patrol the village to make sure things are peaceful and smurfy on a daily basis." "But what about those tickets that they smurf out?" Grouchy asked. Papa Smurf stroked his beard trying to think. "I will have to think about what would be suitable as far as fines for my little Smurfs, if they were to smurf fines for anything that would be considered unlawful or a disturbance. It would have to be something that is fair and equitable for every Smurf, including myself should there ever be a need for me to smurf an example for the others to follow." "You're not seriously considering having a police force on constant patrol in the Smurf Village, are you, Papa Smurf?" Tapper asked. "Not if this village doesn't need more than two Smurfs who will smurf their job faithfully just to keep everyone safe, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "My only hope is that it wouldn't need one at all," Duncan said. At that moment, Farmer and his group of Smurfs have just arrived in the Smurf Village with their carts and baskets full of smurfberries. "Ah, it smurfs like we're going to be eating healthy tonight, my fellow Smurfs," Tapper said. "Smurf is me, those smurfberries certainly smell delicious," Papa Smurf said as he went to see the amount of smurfberries that were gathered. "Yup, and they would surely be making some good eatings tonight when they get smurfed into pies or what have you, Papa Smurf," Farmer said. "Hmmmm, there's something really strange about the smell of the smurfberries," Tapper said as he sniffed the air. "I never smelled them being this strong before." "Aye, maybe Mother Nature is being a little generous with her blessings of good smurfy crops in the forest there, laddie," Duncan said. "I'm sure every Smurf will get a delicious treat tonight for supper, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said with a chuckle. ----- After a healthy dinner of a vegetable salad with fresh dressing and croutons, Greedy brought out a treat for every Smurf: a fresh batch of smurfberry cookies. They all smelled how hot, fresh, and delicious the cookies were, and couldn't wait to get their hands on them. "Smurf hearty, my fellow Smurfs," Greedy said as he let every Smurf take as many cookies as they wanted. Nobody noticed, however, that Greedy seemed rather tipsy, as if he had too much of Vino's stock during dinner preparation. But then Sickly noticed there was something wrong with the cookies. "I'm not normally allergic to smurfberries, but there's something in the cookies that's making me sneeze," he said, as he sneezed like crazy. "You're not the only one who's noticing something, Sickly," Tracker said. "It smells like somebody smurfed something to make us want to eat the cookies." "Well, I guess that means there's more cookies for us if you're not going to eat them," Nabby said as he shoved more cookies into his mouth and ate them with reckless abandon. "It's too bad Baby Smurf isn't ready to eat smurfberry cookies, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said as she ate one of her cookies. "No problem there, Smurfette," Gelato said. "I have made this smurfberry pudding especially for Baby." He placed the small bowl of pudding on the table next to Papa Smurf. "Okay, Baby Smurf, open wide," Papa Smurf said as he fed the infant a small spoonful of the pudding that was in the bowl. Baby Smurf tried to eat it, but suddenly he just spat it out, which made Papa Smurf and Smurfette concerned. "Why won't Baby Smurf eat the smurfberry pudding, Papa Smurf?" Smurfette asked. "I don't know, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. He tried again to feed Baby Smurf a small spoonful of the pudding, only to get Baby Smurf refusing to open his mouth. "Maybe there's something in the pudding that he doesn't like," Smurfette suggested. Papa Smurf shrugged. "It looks like I'm going to have to enjoy this pudding for Baby Smurf if he doesn't want it." Soon every Smurf who ate the cookies was starting to feel rather relaxed. "I never felt this good smurfing these kind of cookies before," one Smurf said. "Yeah, I can see the entire village starting to smurf in bright colors now," another Smurf said. Even Papa Smurf was noticing his vision being affected as whatever was in the smurfberry cookies was making him feel relaxed. "Greedy...what did you smurf in the smurfberry cookies that you smurfed?" he asked. "Oh, let me see...there was flour, eggs, sugar, salt, baking soda, butter, cinnamon, and smurfberries, Papa Smurf," Greedy said. "Why, is there something wrong?" "Of course there is something wrong...you forgot to smurf the sarsaparilla in the cookies," Papa Smurf said. "Oh, yeah, that would really make it smurfy, Papa Smurf," Greedy said. "I'll have to remember to add some to the recipe with the next batch." Sickly and Tracker, who never ate any of the cookies, began to notice that the Smurfs were acting all funny. "Wha...wha...wha...achoo...what's happening to the other Smurfs?" Sickly asked. "I don't know, Sickly, but I suspect there's something in the ingredients Greedy used to smurf the cookies that's doing this," Tracker said. "I'll have to smurf through everything in Greedy's kitchen to find out what." "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together," Sloppy began to sing. "I am the egg-smurf...I am the egg-smurf...I am the walrus, coo coo ca choo..." And another Smurf sang, "One smurf makes you larger, and one smurf makes you small, and the ones that Mother smurfs you don't do anything at all..." And a third Smurf sang, "Smurfette getting high with Linus...Smurfette getting high with Linus..." And a fourth Smurf sang, "I can smurf for miles and miles...I can smurf for miles and miles..." And a fifth Smurf sang, "You don't know what we can find...why don't you smurf with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride..." And a sixth Smurf sang, "Smurfing that train, high with no brains...Smurfy Jones, better watch your speed..." And a seventh Smurf sang, "Smurf on the water, a fire in the sky..." And soon most of the Smurfs were singing whatever song was coming to their heads at the time, including the Smurf song in which some Smurfs have made up their own lyrics for. "My little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said as he stood up from the dinner table to address them, "I hereby declare that we shall have a smurfnip party, where we shall collect all the smurfnip that we can from the forest so that everyone will be allowed to enjoy it for the rest of the night." "HURRAY!" most of the Smurfs shouted together ecstatically. "I hate...uh, I hate...not having a smurfnip party," Grouchy said. "You might as well enjoy it while you can, laddie, because I'm sure going to enjoy it," Duncan said to Grouchy. "Brainy, aren't we supposed to stop the other Smurfs from smurfing smurfnip?" Hefty asked. "Who cares about stopping them?" Brainy said. "I've been smurfing my words of wisdom for too long anyway. Let them enjoy smurfing their brains out." "You know, Brainy, you're right," Hefty said. "This will surely be a smurfy smurfnip party." Smurfette was busy dancing with Clumsy while she carried Baby Smurf in her arms, who looked absolutely confused at all the silliness he was seeing. "Oompa, loompa, smurf it up your joompa, oompa, loompa, smurf it up your joompa," they both sang together. The other Smurfs heard this chanting and started doing it while they danced together. "Everybody smurf nip, everybody smurf nip, everybody smurf nip, everybody smurf nip..." Tracker managed to get Baby Smurf out of Smurfette's hands and had Sickly hold onto him. "Party smurfer!" Smurfette cried out. "Come on, Sickly, let's go find the cause of all this silliness before they really smurf out of their minds," Tracker said. "You...you...achoo...you don't need to tell me," Sickly said as he followed Tracker. ----- As Tracker was inspecting every ingredient in Greedy's kitchen that was used in preparation of that evening's dinner, both he and Sickly could hear Twanger playing his guitar and singing while Harmony was playing in time with his trumpet: :Well, they’ll smurf ya when you’re trying to be so good :They’ll smurf ya just a-like they said they would :They’ll smurf ya when you’re tryin’ to go home :Then they’ll smurf ya when you’re there all alone :But I would not be the one who's first :Everybody must get smurfed Then Tracker said, "Aha! I think I have found it!" He held up a smurfberry that he put up to Sickly's nose, which made him sneeze. "This smurfberry smells like it's been smurfed with the essence of another plant entirely, and judging from everybody's behavior, that plant must be smurfnip." "Smurfnip?" Sickly said. "Oh, I'm allergic to the scent of smurfnip. And they're going to go out and smurf more of it to smurf." "Papa Smurf has the remedy for clearing up the effects of smurfnip in his laboratory, but I don't know how effective it would be if this smurfnip essence is so concentrated," Tracker said. "We need to smurf to Papa Smurf's laboratory and see if we can smurf up the ingredients to this remedy and distribute it to the entire village in the amount that we need to smurf the job." "But how are we...how are we...achoo...going to be able to smurf up the remedy?" Sickly asked. "Neither of us know anything about smurfing magic." "True, but I do know how to smurf apart various herbs, and for a situation like this, I may be the closest thing we have to an apothecary," Tracker said. "Ach, what are you Schlumpfs doing in the kitchen?" Culinary said as he spotted Sickly and Tracker with Baby Smurf. He then picked up a broom and started hitting the two adult Smurfs with it. "Go on, smurf out of here right this instant. I won't let you Schlumpfs who have no business smurfing in the kitchen smurf your noses around here while I'm the one who's in charge of it." Sickly and Tracker quickly left the kitchen, but as soon as they left, they heard Culinary talking to a person that neither of them could see as he started work on preparing a food item. "They're starting to...starting to...achoo...hallucinate, Tracker," Sickly said. "Then we don't have much time, Sickly," Tracker said. "We'd better get smurfing on the antidote to get every Smurf back to their senses before they start smurfing into any danger." ----- During all the dancing and singing, Smurfette started to hear voices. "You really think these Smurfs are truly your family?" a familiar female voice asked. Smurfette turned and saw that it was Vexy, one of the two Naughties from her dreams. "Vexy, is that really you?" Smurfette asked. "Yeah, and Hackus, my stupid brother, is also here with me," Vexy said. "You don't belong with these Smurfs. You belong with us, and with your true father." "Hackus have other sister! Hackus have other sister!" Hackus said as he appeared on the other side of Smurfette. "But I don't trust Gargamel, Vexy," Smurfette said. "He's so mean and nasty because I chose to be a real Smurf. He doesn't even want me anymore except to be used as a tool to capture the other Smurfs." "The other Smurfs don't really care about you...they just love you because you're the only female Smurf they have around," Vexy said. "Besides, if Gargamel didn't truly care about you, why would he send us to get you?" "Hackus want sister to come home! Then we become true family again!" Hackus said. "You really think Gargamel cares about me after all that I have smurfed, Vexy?" Smurfette asked. "I know that he's mean and nasty, but that's not entirely against you, but against what you become, which is confused," Vexy said. "Come with me and you'll see that he wants you as his daughter, not just as a tool. You won't ever have to feel alone because we will always be together." "Hackus be together with sister! Hackus be together with sister!" Hackus said. Smurfette looked into Vexy's eyes and started to believe her. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's smurf off together to Gargamel's so that we can be a family together!" "Now you're talking like a true sister," Vexy said, as Smurfette and Hackus followed after her into the forest. Smurf to Part 6 Category:Empath the Luckiest Smurf stories Category:Smurfnip Madness chapters Category:VicGeorge2K9's articles